


Goddess

by GoddessofTears



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, Avengers are split up, Criminal Past, F/M, I wrote this instead of sleeping and now I have an obligation to continue, OC suffers from mental illnesses, Secret Identity OC, tony is a dick to oc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2018-12-12 13:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11737605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoddessofTears/pseuds/GoddessofTears
Summary: богиня (bo-gi-nya) ~ goddessIn which a young woman named Lilith finds herself in the odd world where the love of her life is no more,  and she is captured by an infamous organization that aims to dominate the world. Having hidden innate abilities, Lilith is taken from her time and thrown into the whirlwind that is the war for the world.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first work on Ao3, please leave a kudos if you enjoyed :)  
> more chapters soon!

**i. home**

 

The girl's bright hair danced around as her fingertips were encircled in translucent flames.

She concentrated, the flames condensing into a sphere twice the size of her fist, before releasing the breath she held along with the fire.

Professor Xavier nodded, smiling, "You're improving. You will be able to do great things sooner than we expected."

Lilith's freckled dimples showed through her smile. Charles Xavier had rescued the girl when she'd caused a fire in her home after a heated argument with her parents, having become her tutor only a month ago. No one knew where she was from, really. Even her parents didn't know of her true heritage as no hospital records on biological lineage were given to them upon adoption.

He had warmed up to her and he was happy that she did to him, too. The first few days had been tough especially as she had grown up fearing mutants including herself.

"What great things?" her eyes shone in a multitude of colors, "Will I be able to fly?"

Xavier chuckles, "Waves do carry atoms through the air, in simple terms, so I won't deny that is possible..."

_Longing-_

Lilith felt someone behind her, cartwheeled and flipped herself upward just as she saw them near the Professor. Her hand shot up and incapacitated their muscles momentarily, which allowed her to land on their shoulders in a crouched position, bringing them down to the ground.

She blew her amber hair out of her face, "Hello Pietro."

The silver-haired mutant flipper over with his super speed, sitting up, "Hey you."

Charles watched as the two shared a moment, smiling to himself as he heard their thoughts. Pietro was another of the few people Lilith had let in on her past - or what she remembered of it anyway - and he was glad that the two of them developed this trust.

_Rusted-_

Lilith felt some sort of pain. Odd, she didn't remember any pain in this memory.

She felt being picked up and soon enough Pietro had carried her to the fountains, kissing her forehead as he set her down. 

"Happy birthday, babe. Love you," Pietro smiled goofily, sending sparks down her spine.

_Furnace-_

Just as she began to say something, she felt the ground rumble and the heat of a fire. "Again?"

Quicksilver was already gone, bringing people outside in the blink of an eye.

Lilith knew she had to help somehow. 

_Daybreak-_

With her recently developed abilities, she ran at high speed, stopping the flames from engulfing the building with all her might.

She felt around for people, realizing there was a small child just to her she ran at heightened speed just managing to pry the flames from her. Lilith recognized her as one of the younger students. 

She knew there was no time for them both to get out, "Please tell Pietro I love him too, for me?" 

_Seventeen-_

The little girl hugged her quickly and Lilith felt herself fade, "Will you come?"

Waves can carry groups of atoms, right?

Without answering she concentrated all of her energy on the girl and felt her lift up, out of the window, carries by invisible wisps of controlled wavelengths.

_Benign-_

She heard joyful screaming outside - someone had come to the rescue of the little girl.

Lilith felt her own power burning her from the inside, tears welled up in her eyes as she felt the flames lick at her sides, and the house began to collapse. She could only hope she'd be able to do the same for herself. 

_Nine-_

Lilith felt the memory fade. Wait, was this a memory? The pain she felt was real, the voices around her...

Someone was yelling her name - was it Pietro? No, the voice sounded demanding, harsh, in control.

_Homecoming-_

Her power radiated off her, she felt herself dissipate into a mist, the pain of the flames on her skin had disappeared.

"Pietro, please save me. I love you Pietro, please-" she stopped, feeling no air in her lungs. Who is Pietro?

_One-_

Lilith knew the language, it was Soviet and it wasn't her own. She couldn't recall when or where she learned it but she had a feeling that was only one of many things she wasn't able to remember. 

She could feel the pain, something other than flamer, something much different, something that was inside of her but that didn't belong. Something was in her head and she couldn't get it out.

_Deity._

Her body had never felt colder as she felt her senses shut down.

 

. 

 

"-how can you not know who she is, Barnes?" Lilith was laying on a cold metal table - an oddly familiar feeling.

"I'm telling you! I've never seen her before today!" she was unaccustomed to the yelling and stirred in her spot.

There was a slam on a nearby table, "Wanda, can you at least tell me what you saw?"

There was silence. 

Lilith remembered hearing the name before but couldn't quite place it.

"There's a lot of flashes of memories that just don't make sense, that shouldn't be possible. It's like there's some sort of barrier, just like there was with James, and I can't get past it," the woman spoke in a much softer tone, almost a whisper.

Lilith couldn't understand what was going on.

Using her ability she broadcasted her whisper, "Charles?"

The company of four or so people rushed around her, whispering incoherently and gently touching her face, arms, legs.

With no response, she tried again, "Pietro?"

The room fell silent, small sobs were heard before the woman named Wanda stormed out of the room. Two people left right after.

"We need to get rid of her," the man spoke determinedly.

"Tony," another woman, "look at her, she needs help."

"She's from Hydra, Tash! Hell knows what she'll do when she wakes up."

Barnes spoke, "I was from Hydra too, did you forget?"

"Yeah, you tried to kill us. I still don't trust you, Soldier," the two men took heavy steps towards each other, "Don't test me."

The woman pushed the two apart, "What is wrong with you, Stark?"

Stark, huh? I've heard that name before...

"What do you mean? I'm a wonder to be around."

"I'm gonna go get Steve, he'll know what to do," pause. "Bucky?"

Only one person remained in the room now. Lilith felt her powers fading again as something sharp pressed into her neck. 

"Jarvis? Get rid of her. Leave her somewhere far, then delete any memory of what I told you."

"Sir, are you sure this is a wise-" 

"Just get the suits to be operative, Jarvis. Never speak of this to anyone, understand me?"

She was lifted by cold metal fingers, "Yes, sir."

Her hair flowed through the air as she gradually lost conciousness.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lilith decides to take her life into her hands once again, following a reality check from her close friend Michelle. 
> 
> Cue superhero training montage...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel it's easier to follow Lilith's story in 1st person so that neither I or the readers get confused with all the she's and he's ;)
> 
> Leave a kudos and a comment suggesting what to do with this story if you enjoyed :)

**ii. spiderman**

 

The girl looked in the mirror, sighing heavily as she touched the fat on her stomach. 

The ab lines had been gradually disappearing for months - since the day she had woken up on the side of the street, she felt as if she'd given up. She did give herself credit, having gotten a job in training young kids in freerunning at the local high school, which is how she'd managed to earn enough money to get off of the street. 

She looked around. Michelle wasn't home yet, after having become president in the school's debate club or something, she kept staying after school. They only saw each other in the late evening, when both headed to their respective rooms to study or work. 

Lilith looked at herself again, Pietro's gaze flashing in front of her. Gasping, she stood her ground - this is **not** how it was going to go down.

 

.

 

I had spent almost an entire month getting back into a shape I could accept as my own. Michelle had been gone for two weeks for yet another decathlon tournament with her team out of the state and was coming back today. 

I was in the living room in my sports bra and shorts, hastily drinking a bottle of water when Michelle barged in.

"Whoa, I wasn't expecting to see you," the girl frowned, "have you been... exercising?"

I nodded at her, "You look cute in that blazer."

"They made me wear it," the girl fiddled with her hands, "So, uh, since when have you been exercising?"

I smiled and flexed as she scrutinized my abs, "A month or so."

"Those are some chiseled muscles..." Michelle's mouth was agape when she looked up at my face, quickly straightening up.

I couldn't help but laugh, then a thought came to mind.

"How do you feel about getting back into freerunning?"

She eyed me up and down, "Not too bad, depending on how much I have to pay."

"Not a thing."

"I'm in," she skipped over and hugged me, "Ew gross, you're sticky."

I watched her run into her room throwing open her closet and pulling out some yoga pants and a loose shirt.

Once her shirt was on she paused, "You better put on a shirt, I'm not leaving this house with you looking like that."

"Now?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," she said eccentrically, throwing a loose shirt from her closet. I looked at it before putting the purposefully torn thing on - it had the Iron Maiden logo on it.

We exited the building together, slowly running to the houses I knew she'd love to climb.

"Oh I love this neighborhood," _told ya_ , "they got so pissed off when we sprayed silly string all over their pristine white tiles."

"We're about to put foot marks on these pristine white tiles," I grinned, gaining a running start before jumping and grabbing onto the ledge of a column, quickly vaulting the first-floor balcony and hopping up to catch the roof, pulling myself up with little effort. 

Michelle looked up at me with an unsurprising bitch face, "I'll have you know there are few sport-related things I can do and that is not one of them."

I laughed a little, "Come one, I'll help you up."

I jumped down holding the ledge with one hand and landed on the balcony, earning a small gasp from her. 

"You have got to be kidding me," she muttered before following what I did and ending up hanging on the balcony.

I held her hand, "Now just vault your foot over the railing- good job, aaand done." 

She looked up at the roof, clearly feeling defeated already, "I remember when I tried this with Parker and it did not go well."

"He does freerunning too?" I questioned, recalling Peter was a high school friend of hers.

Michelle looked taken aback for a moment. "Uhh, something like that, yea..." she lied.

I frowned, questioning why she wouldn't want to tell me the truth but said nothing, helping her up instead.

We spent about two hours jumping from roof to roof in downtown, luckily the buildings were only a couple floors high so I trusted Michelle to make her own jumps across using, of course, my ability to check in case something went wrong.

Something did go wrong.

Moments before I was going to suggest leaving Michele piped up, "Look, it's Spider-boy."

Distracted, she'd jumped too late and slipped on the metal of the roof. 

Being right behind her I panicked, using every power in my body to instantly appear beside her and grab her by the collar of her shirt, before quickly grabbing one of her flailing arms.

"Holy shit! Holy fucking macaroni, Lilith!" she gasped as she reached for me.

Spiderman swung in and helped pull her up, letting her collapse onto me once safe. 

I gave him an unhappy side-glance as to why he'd put me in this position. 

"Shhh, you're okay," I soothed.

I stroked her hair before she sat up, straddling me might I add, and looked in between me and the spandex-wearing boy, "That was cool as fuck."

Spiderman was still focused on me as I excused myself off the floor, "You're lucky to have such a... helpful friend, Michelle." 

"Yeah, she's amazing." I did not like the way she spoke to the masked boy, feeling as if there was a history between them that she didn't let me in on.

"You know each other?" I questioned suspiciously.

"Yes."

"No."

"I mean-"

"Kind of," Michelle shushed him, "We kinda just met by total accident."

"You didn't tell me you were friends with the amazing Spiderman," I could feel the blush radiating from the boy. Huh.

"You two are... sisters?" he looked confused.

Michelle laughed, "Nah, just roomies." I nodded along with her statement. 

"Trying to get this one," I point at Michelle, "into some sort of shape."

Michelle took the opportunity to boast about me, "You should have seen how much she's been working out, holy moly, her abs were made by the gods."

"Pretty sure I'd know if they were, Michelle." 

The spider-boy looked at me in flustered amazement. A light bulb seemed to have gone off, "I need to go! Stark needs me, with the Avengers and whatnot."

Stark?

"Yea, yea, sure Spidey. Go kick some ass." Michelle nudged me, making me wave at him quickly.

Michelle looped her arm into mine, "I think you'd be a great Avenger. You's kick ass like Black Widow."

The code names were starting to give me serious flashbacks and I struggled to keep up to her energetic walk. 

"Did you know that only Captain America and the Winter Soldier have some sort of superhuman abilities? The rest are just normal people, like us."

I smiled weakly. 

The Winter Soldier sounded oddly familiar but I decided to shake it off, following Michelle down the building. 

 

.

 

"You should come to school."

I was sprawled across the bed in nothing but underwear and a tank top. It was 6:30 in the morning and boy did I feel like punching someone.

"Michelle, I swear to god..." the pillow muffled half my words into incoherent babble.

I heard her come into the room and shake me slightly, "You're enrolled as an exchange anyway, might as well go?"

I look up at her and see her smiling sarcastically like an idiot.

"Do you want me to go because you have a test or something?" Michelle nodded frantically and I sighed loudly.

"Come onnn. You're super smart, I need your help."

With one last glance at her pouting face, I get up and pull some clothes out of the closet. 

I wore black sports shorts and a slightly ripped up Pink Floyd band shirt. 

The backpack already had the bare minimum that I needed for school, seen as... Xavier had taught me everything already.

I sighed and sipped on the coffee Michelle made. "I don't understand how you like that trash," she grimaced.

Shrugging I pulled her to the door, both of us putting on black converse shoes. 

We jogged to the high school, I popped into the principal's office to make sure I was ok to join. He seemed oddly happy about me coming back, something about hard times.

"Hey losers," Michelle greeted the two boys in our first class.

The boy she introduces as Ned shook my hand excitedly, "You're hot for being Michelle's friend."

Michelle gave him a hard slap, "The hell, Ned?"

I noticed Peter, the boy Michelle was oddly excited for me to meet, was staring me down with a very confused look. 

I put on a flirtatious face and turned to Ned, "Thank you."

Both boys' jaws seemed to fall to the floor and Michelle high-fived me under the desk.

"Alright class, sit down," a tall man entered the room, "Lilith, you're just in time for the history quiz. Welcome back."

I smiled uneasily as half the class cast sideways glances at me.

After what seemed like days, it was finally lunch. 

I spend almost the entire day in Michelle's classes, helping her with notes, tests and answering online surveys that decided your eye color based on some entirely unrelated questions.   

We sat at the table in front of Ned and Peter. I picked at the food, feeling nostalgia from being in a school setting so long. 

"You okay, babe?" I heard Pietro- no, Peter, say.

I looked up sharply, "What did you say?"

He was taken aback by my sharp tone, "I just asked if you were okay... You look kinda upset."

"Sorry, it's just... I'm distracted lately." 

The two looked at Michelle questioningly and I felt her shrug. 

Just as Michelle put her hand on mine to comfort me, something under Peter's sleeve rung and flashed a blue light. 

He looked at me nervously, then his friends, "I need to go."

"Go where? It's class time," just as I said that the bell rung.

Peter walked quickly through the crowd of students that filed into the halls. I took a step to follow when Michelle grabbed my arm, giving me a look.

"You go to class, I'll be back," I followed Peter through the crowd, using my powers to find him. He was almost outside, crap.

Pulling a bitch face I parted the sea of students and ran outside just in time to see Peter turning the corner, unbuttoning his navy shirt.

I followed him, running, to a ten-foot gate that I watched him jump over with ease. Oh.

I did the same, not as effectively, but landed behind him canceling the noise as I touched his shoulder lightly. 

He reflexively tried to kick me but I ducked just in time, standing up and dusting myself off.

His jaw was, once again, on the floor, "How did you-?"

"You're not the only special one, Spider-boy," I poked the little spider on his chest. 

His eyes still wide he proceeded to take off his clothes and stuff everything in his backpack, pulling out the mask.

"Look- I really need to go. People are in trouble downtown, I need to help."

Saying nothing I pulled his hoodie out of his bag, putting it on and hooding my face, "I'll come with."

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lilith and Peter fight off crime, become friends, meet some Avengers and piss off Tony. 
> 
> Cue some depressing background history from Lilith.

**iii. saved my life**

 

Peter did not argue when I jumped up onto the balcony and used my powers to push myself up by two floors, reaching the roof in a few seconds.

He offered to carry me to the place and I couldn't deny I felt oddly comfortable in his arms. 

"Are you a superhero too?"

I looked up at his kissable neck- no, his perfectly normal neck. "If that's what you wanna call it..."

"How did you end up here? And why aren't you in the Avengers?" 

"They didn't want me there, the way I remember it." My teeth were gritted as I recalled Stark  _getting rid_ of me.

"Oh," I felt the wind blow in my face as Peter allowed himself to fall a bit further, "I think you're pretty. And cool!"

He babbled on, "I mean pretty cool, yeah... But you are pretty too- I mean very pretty, I just- Ugh, shut up Peter."

I observed his little rant. I admit he is pretty cute, but the scars left from Pietro were still there and I refused to pretend otherwise.

"Ten enemies across the road," Peter set me down on a rooftop as a small flying AI informed Peter of the enemies' power.

I watched the black haired man enter a secured 4x4 jeep, two soldiers immediately dragging another seemingly unconscious man into the car. The man was older, maybe a professor seen as he wore a formal attire. 

The door closed and I was met with a familiar skull with six tentacles.

"Hydra," I noticed Peter was communicating with someone using his weird gadget. "Yes, Mr. Stark I'll hang behind."

I frowned at him, disbelieving, "They're going to get away."

 _"Who's with you, Peter?"_ I heard that disgusting voice again - Stark.

Rolling my eyes, I dropped from the roof and onto one of the guards which made a disgusting splattering sound. They were now alerted.

Ignoring Peter's cries and frantic disconnection from Stark, I attacked the soldiers nearest to the jeep using my wave control and sent them flying into it.

The man exited the car carrying a rifle - he wore one of those evil smiles, his eyes boring into mine.

"Желание."  **Longing.**

Oh no. No no no no no no.

I flipped over the back of one of the soldiers, feeling Peter web him immediately after, and ran straight towards the man at incredibly high speed thanks to my powers.

I didn't notice the heavily armored soldier until he slammed his shield into my side, sending me tumbling to the ground.

"Ржавый." **Rusted.**

I was angry. Angry that this man was trying to control me. 

I raised a hand at the soldier and squeezed. I felt his insides moving and his heartbeat becoming way too fast, dangerously fast, but I kept squeezing. The man was now immobile, the rifle long gone on the ground.

"Семнадцать." **Seventeen**.

I growled, my powers causing it to echo across the block. I felt Peter's eyes on me as he fought and webbed soldiers left and right, nearing me.

The soldier had fallen to the floor - I could no longer hear a beat. 

The man's eyes were trained on me as I stalked towards him, "Рассвет." **Daybreak**.

I was beginning to feel my insides light on fire again. Memories of a dark room filled with water, screaming, being unable to breathe, electricity running through my body-

I fell to one knee, regaining my eyesight only after blinking furiously for several seconds.

"Печь." **Furnace**.

I was burning now, just like at the X-Manor. My movements were choppy, all due to my unstable powers which carried me across the street. 

I heard the screech of tires behind me. "Lilith, they're getting away!"

Peter was barely holding the car with his webs, being slowly dragged forward by the car as the friction produced a dark smoke.

"Девять." **Nine**. I ignored the man, walking now towards the car to help Peter. 

My mind wandered into the nightmarish landscape that was the Hydra base. Screaming from the cells beside mine, a picture of a man with a metal arm, electricity, the thud of dead bodies, the feeling of power and yet being controlled, dissipating into a mist to then reappear somewhere else. 

I just need to keep walking forward, I don't need to focus.

"Добросердечный." **Benign**.

I reached for the car with all my might, crushing the rear bumper with one hand. I pulled, forcing the car to an immediate stop and vaulted over the vehicle, landing on the hood with enough force to halt the engine completely.

The engine steam clouded around me as I looked directly into the eyes of the driver, another face I recognized. 

"Bозвращение на родину." **Homecoming**.

I raised both hands, ready to completely flatten the car with the Hydra lieutenant inside. 

There was a mechanical noise and I felt myself being picked up by cold metal hands, "Alright, kid. You've caused enough trouble for one day."

Behind the car were a blonde man in an old navy-colored costume, a redhead in an adherent combat suit and the Soldier with a metal arm.

"Один." **One**.

Both the redhead and the Soldier's heads snapped to the Hydra official.  They looked at me in understanding and panic, starting to sprint towards the man.

"Бо-" the man's mouth was shut by a series of white webs, shot several times. 

"That should do it," I was brought back to my senses by Peter's voice, who neared me and Stark's suit.

He flew upward, holding me a bit too tightly. "Na-ah, Peter. You stay away from it."

"It?" Peter's pretty face scrunched up into a grimace, searching my face with clear worry. "She's a human, like us."

"I doubt it," Stark's voice was becoming more and more irritating by the second. 

The woman, Natasha, walked forward with a serious expression, "Human or not, we're taking her to the Avenger Facility, Stark."

"I'm not-"

The model in spandex stepped up, "If you don't want to, we'll gladly take her and go without you."

"Alright then, Steve," he spat. I felt the mech fly lower, setting me in Steve's arms, "All yours."

I realized my exhaustion as I watched Stark's suit fly off, my eyelids closing slowly.

Peter's hand rested on my shoulder for a moment, "You'll be alright, Lilith. Promise."

 

.

 

I woke up on a soft mattress, a series of tubes laid on my body that connected to every end of my body. 

I flinched, the feeling of metal syringes in my veins was much too familiar for my tastes. 

"You're up," I looked to the corner that the Soldier was seated in, arms crossed and a curious look directed at me.

"Did they think we were going to bond over our traumatic experiences, or did they want to see if I'd try to coax you into joining Hydra again?" I gave him my best wink, but with the sedatives, I probably looked drunk.

The Soldier chuckled, "Neither. I believe Nat said something about kicking Stark's ass."

"You mean the flying tin man?" I smiled as I watched him roll his eyes and chuckle. I wonder what caused his eyes to become so empty of joy.

He got up with a strained sigh and put a hand to my forehead, "You've cooled down."

"I felt like I was burning from the inside out," the Soldier's gaze froze on my face,"Good to know I actually was."

"You're quite the fighter." I knew he was trying to make me talk.

"So are you," I observed his features hardening momentarily before relaxing again - he didn't trust me either. 

When he didn't speak, I decided to follow his lead, "I only recently started to regain control over my own life," he clearly didn't expect me to talk, "After Hydra I began falling into a deep depression. They took me for the powers I had, made them stronger but at the same time dangerous. I couldn't live without hearing the screams from my nightmares, which I later realised were memories. The things they made me do..."

The Soldier nodded solemnly. I could only imagine what Hydra made him go through all those years.

Looking at him, I decided to risk it on him, he seemed like a good listener. "Do you remember when the God Apocalypse almost destroyed humanity and the X-Men had to fight him off with some kids that had mutant abilities?"

"Not exactly remember," he said in a dark tone, "but I did read about something like it. 1983, right?"

I nodded, "That's around the time I met Professor Xavier. Him and Pietro."

"You knew Pietro?" 

"I knew him... very well," the Soldier could tell my smile wasn't wholehearted, "Charles offered me to join the Institute to learn to control my powers, so I did. Two months after there was an attack on the Mansion by people who got their hands on **someone's** powerful tech."

He nodded solemnly, "So you had powers? Before Hydra?"

"I think they only enhanced them, made them their own little inventions. They used to be in my control," I showed him the translucent ball of flames, "but now all those months, years maybe, in that hell has fucked up my mind so badly." The flame had begun to engulf my hand in an aggressive violet color, forming burn marks on my skin.

I closed my fist and the flame dissipated.

"I'm afraid of becoming a hazard to Peter, just like I did to Pietro," I frowned, remembering Pietro's scars from the night he convinced me to spend the night out of my padded chamber.

The Soldier looked to the door, where Wanda was standing, "Ready?"

Wanda stared me right in the eye, searching through my mind. I could feel her in my memories of Pietro, our races where he'd ridicule me even at my highest speed, our voyages across the Pacific Ocean, our sleepless nights when we shared our stories. 

"They're waiting for you," if her cracking voice didn't, then the tear in her eye gave away her sorrow. 

I gave her a look of understanding, which she shook off again, and follow the two into the elevator. We walked into a much bigger common room, in which there were people training and several agents walking on each level's bridges.

"Your budget's pretty high," I chewed on the gum I picked up as we exited the elevator, smiling triumphantly at Soldier.

"Where did you-," a door slid open, opening the view to a glass meeting room that branched into lots of behind-the-scenes operational rooms.

The Avengers were sat in the chairs as Steve Rogers, I assume he's the responsible parent, flipped through files with my name on them. Huh. Didn't know Hydra had a secret Wikipedia page made about me. Natasha was sitting in her gear as always, Hawkeye right beside her cracking some awesome dad jokes and a sweatpant-wearing man I didn't recognize. 

"Hello," I slumped into the chair, propping myself up with my elbow. 

All eyes were immediately trained on me. "Why isn't she in handcuffs? Stark said-"

Sweatpants was cut off by Steve, "Doesn't matter what Tony said, we're talking this through in a civilized manner."

I raised an eyebrow, blowing a bubble.

"Who the fuck gave her chewing gum?" Sweatpants clearly was on Stark's side of opinions.

"I understand I'm here for a reason?" I sat up straight, spitting the chewing gum bullseye into the trashcan, "Let's get down to it."

"Cocky little son of a-" Sweatpants was once again silenced by Cap.

"Language."

"Wow I thought you saying that was a hoax," I looked around at the confused faces, "What?"

Steve slid the bloodied file towards me, gesturing me to look through it.

I opened to the first market page. It had all my information - the site where I was found in 1985, the cryogenic process, the "mist" for I was in, the experiments.

My powers, listed in decreasing order of importance. Abnormal control of both transverse and longitudinal waves (underdeveloped), heightened reflexes, agility, stamina (enhanced ~~once~~ ~~twice~~ ~~3~~ **4** times), superhuman speed/perception of time ( ~~1.2~~ ~~1.6~~ ~~2.3~~ ~~2.4~~   ** ~~3.7~~ 4.5** Mach max.) enhanced durability and metabolism (tested and approved), destabilisation of molecules (through speed (tested, not approved) and wave control (tested and approved)), advanced martial arts (in training). 

I noticed a corner with the X-Men logo on it. Pulling it out I found the ripped piece of Charles' analysis of my mental and physical state - all my disabilities were listed, my past injuries, episodes of anxiety, PTSD-

I shut the file, with an echoing thud that shook the table, causing the smallest of cracks to appear. I hope they won't notice it.

"Can you read it?" Natasha observed me curiously.

"Yes," I said through gritted teeth, feeling vulnerable now that everyone had read through the files and reports, "I've read enough."

"Impossible, you held that file for barely a second." The man was once again gesturing in my direction accusingly, "There is no way she-"

"Yes there is, Sam. If you could read the reports you'd know," it was strange to hear Wanda back me up. "She can move four and a half times the speed of sound, of course she could read that thing in two seconds." 

The room fell silent once again. I could hear my own breathing, time seemed to slow as I looked and my hands, only to find blurs.

Hawkeye looked from me to Natasha, whispering, "How bad is it?"

The woman gave me a sympathetic look before leanind towards him, "Bad. Possibly worse than Barnes."

I let out a breath and fell faintly to the floor, lacking air in my lungs. 

There it is - a panic attack. I choked, Pietro's face flickering into existence inches from mine as I slowly closed my eyes.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Peter confesses his feelings and Lilith confronts Tony.
> 
> Cue adorable insecure Peter mumbling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a quick reminder: everything in third person is memories and/or flashbacks.
> 
> the rest is current time.

**iv. weak and broken**

 

She stood in a bright glass room. The blood-covered floor made the lamps shine a translucent red light. Lifeless corpses littered the floor, making her unable to move anywhere through the swamp of dead bodies around her. 

A panel slid open and a blindfolded prisoner was shoved inside, stumbling on the limbs and bodies with a tear-stained face.

A voice crackled through weak radio signals, "Do it again, богиня (boginya)."

With no control over her body she concentrated, the room seemed to slow and so did time as she neared the man. Combining both speed and wave impulse she slammed the man to the ground. Blood shot everywhere, covering her already stained clothes. The room shook violently and faint laughing was heard through the meter-thick glass. 

"Good girl."

 

.

 

I woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for air.

Peter immediately grabbed my hand, "Hey, hey, calm down, you're okay. I'm here."

"Peter?" my voice was hoarse, broken up like a prepubescent boy's. "What are you doing here?"

He smiled adorably and looked down at the ground, "Mr. Stark wouldn't let me visit, so I asked Steve and he basically told me to man up - which was true - and to find you as soon as I could to show that I care."

"How long have you been here?"

"Bout four to five hours," he shrugged, still concentrated on the floor.

I stared at his face, disbelieving, "Please tell me you didn't sit here the whole time."

"No, well, that reminds me," he picked up a tray to my right, "I did make you some tea."

I looked at him, curious at the amount of dedication this guy put in the little things. I couldn't shake off the thought that he and Pietro have very similar kind hearts, both looking out for people without asking for anything in return.

I observe as he looks up from his lap to smile faintly, but wholeheartedly, before looking back at the tray, "Do you want some?"

"Why do you do this?"

He stared at my face for a second, "Well they took tests and told me that you should drink a lot of hot water, so I made you tea-"

"I mean why are you helping me? You've seen and heard what I am."

"I know who you are," his smile made the weight on my chest lighten slightly, "You're Lilith, a brilliant student, Michelle's best friend, my crush since the beginning of the year..."

I smiled as his eyes widened at his own confession, "It wasn't supposed to come out like that-!"

"You're bad at keeping secrets," I reached for his hand despite being held back by the tubes strewn all across my body, "I'd guessed a while ago."

"I mean I-I understand if you're weirded out," he frantically looked everywhere but at me, "I'm just stupid ol' Peter. Just look at you, you could do so much better, I'm pretty sure you'd like, be able to make Captain America fall in love with you just with your beautiful smile- I mean how are you even human? I bet Thor would be convinced you're out of this world-"

I smiled sadly as I zoned out, thinking about how much I did appreciate Peter. I felt as if I was cheating but, Pietro's gone isn't he? I can't go back. It's been over two years - thirty-two technically - I should be trying to move on...

I sigh. Being stuck on this is so stupid. 

"Lilith?" my head snaps towards him, watching him curiously, "What- Are you okay?"

I nod at him and try to smile with feeling, squeezing his hand, "Peter, I personally think you're amazing _without_ your suit."

Peter's face grew into a fascinated grin, he launched forward to hug me and accidentally pushed the tubes into my body.

"Peter." He turns to look at my strained face. "I've got needles jabbed into right about every inch of my body."

His eyes widened, and he began to mumble embarassedly, "Right, I'm so sorry. Oh god, did I hurt you?"

"I'm going to be okay, Pete," a small laugh escapes me, "I have your tea."

 

.

 

Two days had passed since I was released from the hospital wing of the Avengers building. Peter and I had been catching up with each other, talking and learning a lot about each other. I was, of course, glad he understood my feelings for Pietro and helped me through the panic attack I had last night. 

We were now walking behind Agent Hill, who was leading us to another conference room, this time on the penultimate floor.

Peter was talkative as usual. 

"So you worked with Captain America several times already, right?" she nodded as I spoke, "How does that feel?"

The elevator dinged and she gestured for us to get out. "It feels like he owes me a whole lot."

I chuckle and receive a surprisingly honest smile in return. 

I could see Tony Stark pacing in a gray suit around the glass table.

Hill noticed my grimace, "He's very distrustful and doesn't like when the people he cares about are being threatened."

"So I've noticed," I ground out.

"Just giving you a heads up."

She politely let us in, sliding the door shut just as we set our feet inside. I looked anywhere but Stark's face - greeted Wanda with a nod, noticed that my history was laid out on the table once again, and noted that there were cameras in every corner.

I scowled as Stark lazily took his sunglasses off, revealing a faded black eye. He eyed the two of us, his eyes lingering on Peter. "Sit."

I did so, never breaking eye contact, and heard Peter follow suit. "Stark."

"Soldier," he sneered, directing a quick glance at my documents. I clenched my fist momentarily.

"We said we would decide this as adults, Tony," the floating red man stated. 

I couldn't recall who he was but there was something... off about him. On his forehead, however, I could recognize the bright glow of the Mind stone. 

"Is that-" I caught myself mid-sentence - if I said anything about the Mind stone, the suspicion would skyrocket. "Are you Jarvis?"

Stark's head snapped towards me, a look of shock crossed his face momentarily before returning to its natural nonchalance, "Not really, the voice was just a backup, it happened by accident. But nevermind that, we're here to talk about you."

Peter shot me a curious look but I couldn't dwell on the subject, partially because I really wanted to hear Stark confess and to do that I had to push the right buttons.

As he was about to start talking a man with prosthetics entered the room, patting down a slightly wrinkled blazer. He gave Peter a pat on the shoulder and gave me a sincere smile once he sat down at the head to our left. 

"Rhodes, I thought I asked you to stay out of this." Stark moved to help hhis friend but was waved away.

"Someone's ought to make sure you stay in line, Tony," Rhodes murmured, giving me a quick glance. 

They exchanged nods as Stark defeatedly sat down at the head of the table to my right. The floating man also sat down in one of the chairs across from Peter and I, giving a pat to Rhodes' shoulder as he did so. 

"Let us begin our..." Stark glanced at Peter for a moment, "discussion."

With a small wave of his hand, Stark summoned a projector screen, "Here we have all the data collected on this individual. As you can all see, it's pretty scarce and prevalently old."

All eyes fell onto the small stack of files beneath his palm.

"Recently, however, we have received more detailed information that we at first thought were from an unknown source, until the paper and ink were found to be the same as some Hydra files we had on the Winter Soldier."

"As well as my brother and I," Wanda added giving me a soft look. 

Tony scowled but continued talking, "Yeah, yeah, that too. But in this case we are finally able to understand what we're up against."

Peter tensed beside me. "Up against?"

"If this is Hydra's work then we'll know what to expect from them by looking into these documents. By doing similar tests, we'll also know what to do with our _guest_ here." 

"You call me a guest and yet you imprison and threaten to do tests on me." We stared each other in the eye, neither letting any particular emotion show.

He crossed his arms. "It's nothing unusual for people who threaten our city to be brought in and secured by any means necessary. Wanda and the Winter Soldier both had to be taken in custody because they were too dangerous to trust."

"I've lived in this city since _you_ threw me away two years ago-" I stood up, words flowing out uncontrollably, "I've tried to live the most normal life my emotional scars allowed me to and never even tried to speak against any of you, so don't you _dare_ tell me I'm a danger to this city."

Wanda and Rhodes' eyes widened at the Iron Man as Vision spoke, "Is this true, Tony?"

"What? No! That's not the point. She's an unregistered citizen, that's already illegal! Think of the things she could've done for Hydra unnoticed during that time."

"I could just walk out of here and go back to my life. You don't have my consent for any tests to be done to me, Stark, I am my own person. I have a house, I have a roommate, I go to school, I even have a job, for Christ's sake! I'm more of a citizen than you are!"

 "I have more than enough evidence and infuence on the military to make sure that you'll be locked up and taken to me under my own conditions." 

I grit my teeth and he crosses his arms, waiting for my reaction.

"Who are you without your money and toys, Stark?" I'm struggling to stay calm at this point, tears threatening to fall out.

“A genius, philantropist-“ his cocky smirk was once again playing on his lips.

“You are nothing.” Tony scoffed, ready to counter. I continued, lowering my voice back to normal, “Nothing but a bitter, broken, distrustful man.” 

“I have reasons for-“

“We get it Tony, your parents were murdered.” His face fell, his now stone-cold eyes boring into mine. “You are anything but special, though. People are being murdered all the time now, Tony, and the Avenger’s job is to prevent that from happening.”

Even the board of people outside the meeting room had their eyes on me now; I felt the anger of a caged wild animal burning within me but I pushed it to the back of my mind. I did not need my instincts to take over - not now.

“You can’t keep looking back at the past, it blocks you from seeing the future. Granted, being in the spotlight since such an early age never allowed you to mourn your parents, but the emotions you’ve built up are only making it harder for you to move on.”

I could see him begin to shake, his very own animal beginning to surface, but he stood his ground.

"Lilith..." Rhodes looked at me pleadingly, but I had my mind set already. He noticed the look in my eye and instead turned to Stark, "Tony, please..."

“If you’re having such issues dealing with your own feelings, how are you in any shape to deal with decisions concerning people’s lives?” 

As the words left my mouth Tony’s hand was immediately encased in red metal, a beam of light aimed at my head. I had moments to duck out of the way, mentally pushing Peter’s chair to the other end of the room so he wouldn’t get hurt.

I heard the glass shatter behind me and in a blur was helping Rhodes to his feet. 

"Stay away from him, you-" Tony struggled for words as he noticed the look of fear in his friend's eyes, "you mutant!"

I moved away when Rhodes managed to hold himself up on his own, allowing Stark to shoot in my direction. 

I watched everyone including Peter make it out of the room safely and Stark took that moment of distraction to get closer. Due to my distraction I reacted too late and got slammed against the bulletproof glass with so much force a large crack formed in the shape of a spiderweb. 

I looked at his now-encased hands, _Ah, that makes sense._

His hand was now aimed at my head and just as I moved to dodge, Peter appeared in the same spot the shot should have hit me. In a blur I was back at his side and covering the sizzling would on his right shoulder. The smell of burnt skin was already making its way across the room. 

I looked at Stark, my vision conpletely fogged by tears as I stood up much too fast for his mech eyes to notice. He aimed at me, sensing the animalistic bloodlust that I emanated as I confidently strode towards him but I flicked the energy away carelessly as if my rage had enhanced my powers. 

Roaring like an animal I leapt at him, easily bringing him down and crushing his metal chest using nothing but my thought. Just as I was ready to plunge my hand into his shiny chest I felt a small prick in the back of my neck. 

I turned to see Agent Hill, aiming a small gun at me. 

"They're just sleep darts, Lilith," she assured me, but I didn't care.

I raised my fist and readied myself to land a blow to Stark's bloody, frightened face. Yet again there was a prick on my spine, but there were more.

I felt the tiny needles stab into my back and stood in frustration as Agents kept firing their measly weapons at me. Finally, with a shot straight to my heart I fell to one knee as my body numbed and my eyes rolled back. 

"Wha..." I barely felt my head crashing against the metal floor as people rushed around me. 

Agent Hill was one of them. "I forgot to mention, they've got paralitic effects."

With a small nod she and another agent picked my body off the floor. With tears rolling down my cheeks I looked at Peter's slumped figure being tended to right outside the glass room. 

"Peter..." I mumbled, the darts finally taking full effect and throwing me into a motionless, dark dream.

 

 

 

 


End file.
